The Blasphemous Flower Basket

 I took this picture cause I knew this story was tumblr worthy.

So I had been sitting in my big white van behind the lowell building, not going to class, and staring happily at a brick wall.

out of the corner of my eye, i notice a man coming up the alley, slow down a little past the car, but ultimately keep going.

the term ‘weirdo’ passed my mind, and I locked the doors even though any actual threat was minimal, and soon I was staring at the wall again.

Not less than 5 minutes later I heard a knocking at the passenger side window. I look over, and it’s the same weirdo who walked by the car before; Except now he looked particularly nervous and had his nose pressed against the glass.

I should mention that I never felt particularly frightened of this man. he was quite skinny, and seemed extremely skittish and fearful both when I saw him starting up the alley, and now, as he knocked.

Anyway, I rolled down the window slightly and asked “can I help you?” with one eyebrow raised and a general look of confusion.

he gestured at me with his chin, and said with an equally confused tone “you…eh…you…sex?”

We had a moment of silence.

Eyebrow still raised, and before I knew what was coming out of my mouth, I raised both my hands, shook my head and said “I’m wearing mittens”.

He immediately started shaking his head up and down as if he understood, and practically started sprinting away.

I lowered my hands after a minute and I….

what…

I can’t tell which is funnier: The fact that this strange man thought I was some sort of portable hooker, parking my van behind churches and waiting for patrons, or that my proof against being a hooker was the fact that I was wearing mittens.